clothes need to be altered... spirits need to be altar-ed

[ i wrote this a few days ago]

Where to begin?

No - I haven't quit. I still have 6 weeks to go!  I have missed many days these past 6 weeks, but today my spirit has been renewed in a very special way.

It's actually been happening for the past few days - but today - some things really clicked.  I've been doing a Bible study, reading a devotional book, crying...ugh, encouraged by fellow pilgrims, and doing a lot of looking in the mirror.  The Lord has been using all those things to shift, sway, shave, and finally - gently tug me to my knees.  Don't you love that He doesn't shove us down in anger?  

The past month or so has been such a violent rollercoaster ride - with super high high's and super low low's - and a million things stuck into every crevice of my life - so that its really brought me to my knees.  But here's the thing - when "life" knocks you to your knees physically - it really doesn't do much except drive you to despair.  It's just a pity party.  But when Christ brings you to your knees - wow, what a difference!  

When He does it, there is love, there is hope, there is comfort, there is peace and clarity.  

Don't get me wrong - I love that my life is filled with the busy.  I thrive when there is energy!  I love when I'm being used!  But when that's all there is - and I'm not beginning my day centered on Him, asking Him for His blessing of my schedule, and asking Him for wisdom in where to put my focus - it falls apart quickly.

I'm pretty good under pressure - so quickly can mean... a month! hahaha.   Because I'm a fighter, I hate admitting defeat!  So during that month - I'm fighting to "stay ahead of the game" on my own.  Been here before - you'd think I would have learned by now. :)

Thankfully, the Lord doesn't give up on me.  Mercifully, He is patient and proves time and time again - He didn't make a mistake by choosing me.  He knew exactly when and where I'd fail, and before I even begin to travel down that dark road again - He already has the Rescue in mind and planned out.

So that when I call out - the answer has already been on its way, waving its hand out to me, waiting for me to recognize it.  I just love that about You, Lord!

so no. i haven't quit.

as a matter of fact - i considered stopping, and while I was on my walk, the Lord showed me a sign.

come on... laugh - that's FUNNY!!!

Sooooo. I have 6 weeks to go.  I WILL make my 1000 miles. that definitely means more than 3 miles a day with all my missed days this past month, but that's ok.  I don't mind :)  I've been walking in the morning and at night!

I dont' know if we will have enough money to complete another well, or not, but I know that whatever we've raised will be used by God to go TOWARDS a well.  And that's cool :)  

So - sorry I've been so quiet for a while.  I'm still here - but I kept forgetting where I misplaced my joy.

and that's not easy to blog about.... LOL  Well I should say - its not easy to blog honestly about.  

Pray that I can end this journey changed.  I look back to the spirit and heart I had initially when I started this, and I already know I'm so different.  God has definitely used this to continue molding me.  Some has been so much fun, but some has just been downright painful. 

But no matter what I think, no matter how I doubt or question, I have a sweet and special "Thank You" card sitting on my front room table, with a picture of a woman in front of the Jesus well, reminding me that God cares for His people.  And, just think - we got to be used on the other side of the world to help show that love and care.

6 weeks left. pray for me.  pray for them.  I love you guys.

Nehemiah 8:10

Joy renewed,  :)  (surprise surprise, i thought i lost it - and it was with Him the whole time!)

Le