clothes need to be altered... spirits need to be altar-ed

[ i wrote this a few days ago]

Where to begin?

No - I haven't quit. I still have 6 weeks to go!  I have missed many days these past 6 weeks, but today my spirit has been renewed in a very special way.

It's actually been happening for the past few days - but today - some things really clicked.  I've been doing a Bible study, reading a devotional book, crying...ugh, encouraged by fellow pilgrims, and doing a lot of looking in the mirror.  The Lord has been using all those things to shift, sway, shave, and finally - gently tug me to my knees.  Don't you love that He doesn't shove us down in anger?  

The past month or so has been such a violent rollercoaster ride - with super high high's and super low low's - and a million things stuck into every crevice of my life - so that its really brought me to my knees.  But here's the thing - when "life" knocks you to your knees physically - it really doesn't do much except drive you to despair.  It's just a pity party.  But when Christ brings you to your knees - wow, what a difference!  

When He does it, there is love, there is hope, there is comfort, there is peace and clarity.  

Don't get me wrong - I love that my life is filled with the busy.  I thrive when there is energy!  I love when I'm being used!  But when that's all there is - and I'm not beginning my day centered on Him, asking Him for His blessing of my schedule, and asking Him for wisdom in where to put my focus - it falls apart quickly.

I'm pretty good under pressure - so quickly can mean... a month! hahaha.   Because I'm a fighter, I hate admitting defeat!  So during that month - I'm fighting to "stay ahead of the game" on my own.  Been here before - you'd think I would have learned by now. :)

Thankfully, the Lord doesn't give up on me.  Mercifully, He is patient and proves time and time again - He didn't make a mistake by choosing me.  He knew exactly when and where I'd fail, and before I even begin to travel down that dark road again - He already has the Rescue in mind and planned out.

So that when I call out - the answer has already been on its way, waving its hand out to me, waiting for me to recognize it.  I just love that about You, Lord!

so no. i haven't quit.

as a matter of fact - i considered stopping, and while I was on my walk, the Lord showed me a sign.

come on... laugh - that's FUNNY!!!

Sooooo. I have 6 weeks to go.  I WILL make my 1000 miles. that definitely means more than 3 miles a day with all my missed days this past month, but that's ok.  I don't mind :)  I've been walking in the morning and at night!

I dont' know if we will have enough money to complete another well, or not, but I know that whatever we've raised will be used by God to go TOWARDS a well.  And that's cool :)  

So - sorry I've been so quiet for a while.  I'm still here - but I kept forgetting where I misplaced my joy.

and that's not easy to blog about.... LOL  Well I should say - its not easy to blog honestly about.  

Pray that I can end this journey changed.  I look back to the spirit and heart I had initially when I started this, and I already know I'm so different.  God has definitely used this to continue molding me.  Some has been so much fun, but some has just been downright painful. 

But no matter what I think, no matter how I doubt or question, I have a sweet and special "Thank You" card sitting on my front room table, with a picture of a woman in front of the Jesus well, reminding me that God cares for His people.  And, just think - we got to be used on the other side of the world to help show that love and care.

6 weeks left. pray for me.  pray for them.  I love you guys.

Nehemiah 8:10

Joy renewed,  :)  (surprise surprise, i thought i lost it - and it was with Him the whole time!)

Le

been meaning to share this!

Today is my first guest blog!

I loved this when it was shared with me, and I asked permission to share it with you.

I actually asked months ago - and he gave me immediate permission!  but i guess the time wasn't then.  its now

so i hope you enjoy this as much as I did!

******

Jesus Loves You, but...

Copyright (c) 2010 by Dann McCreary

It's not often that I sit down to write a devotional.. but here I go! I'm in New Hampshire for a few
weeks, working (thanks to my "portable office") and babysitting my brother's dog Koober.

During a work break, I thought I'd head to the Chocorua General Store on Route 16 to see if the
owner might be there. Maryanne and my wife Pam shared a hospital room in North Conway, where
our second son Christopher was born shortly after Maryanne's Kimberly. Sure enough, Maryanne
was there but she was helping some customers and didn't notice me come in. I proceeded to look
around the store, browsing while waiting for Maryanne to finish with the others.

I found a small oval ceramic plaque – blue lettering on an off-white background with a curly flower
motif below the lettering – that read as follows:

Jesus Loves You

but I'm His favorite.

Now, Pam will tell you that this is completely uncharacteristic of me; I immediately took the plaque
down off the wall and up to the front register where Maryanne was almost finished with her
customers, and after reminding her who I was (yes, I have greyed out considerably.. yes, the beard
is substantially longer,) I bought the plaque on the spot. After exchanging a few pleasantries, I left
and went back to work.

Strangely enough, I virtually NEVER make an impulse buy like that, especially not something cute
or decorative. Whatever could have possessed me to buy a knick-knack like that plaque?

During the last few years, I have simply felt so intensly loved by our Lord Jesus that I've found
myself being almost apologetic to my fellow believers, occasionally finding myself making
comments like "I don't understand why the LORD loves me more than you, but it's just obvious to
me that He does." I have watched in wonder as the LORD has so kindly and graciously resolved
issues that I had despaired of ever seing an answer to.

In reflecting on this, I recalled the Apostle John. When I was younger, I always wondered why it
was that, in the Gospel of John which he wrote, John never referred to himself by name. Rather than
saying "John" or "me," John spoke of himself as "the disciple whom Jesus loved." (See, for
example, John 19:5, 20:2, 21:7, and 21:20)

I am finally coming to this conclusion: the better we get to know the Lord Jesus, the more we will
all come to think of ourselves as "the disciple whom Jesus loved." I no longer wonder why John felt
that way. It was obvious to John that Jesus loved him more than all the rest! It is just as obvious to
me that John was wrong, because Jesus couldn't possibly love anyone more than He does me!

Sometimes Jesus' love is tough. Sometimes it's as gentle as a summer shower. How about you? Are
you "the disciple whom Jesus loves?" Wouldn't you like to be? Just get to know Him better, and
you'll soon find out that I'm wrong, that it's you He loves the most!

******

Of course Dann is wrong, He does love me the most :)
hehehehe

Le :)

a time to be born

and a time to celebrate that birth :)

i thought that i had gotten on here on my birthday!!! but i'm looking back over my blog and laughing that i did 3 posts thispast week and realizing that i only did one for the whole month of July!

wow, lazy bum!

so i guess now i'm making up for it!  hehehe

I not only celebrated another year of life for myself in July - but also another year for my hubby and another year for my baby boy Joey.  who is my big boy really.
our firstborn!  only one more year until he is eighteen!!!

i can remember his first steps like it was yesterday.  so crystal clear in my mind.  his little legs walking down the hallway in our vacation condo in Ocean City, Maryland.

wow.  time is a crazy thing.

on my birthday, as i was driving him to school, we passed by Margi and her kids on the road.  we hit a red light, she asked what we were up to, i shouted with a massive smile and upraised arms "Its my birthday!!!"  in the goofy way that only I can.

she said "come over!!!"

we did - and i had the best impromptu birthday time in the world!!!  i love you Margi :)

we walked (of course), we talked (of course), we had lunch and then we were on our way.

**before i go any further.  Margi walks with an insane pace.  unreal.  my shins were BURNINGGGGGG. LOL  ok back to the bloggie.**

5 years ago she and Michelle surprised me at my house for my bday - and now 5 years later she did the same again! hehehe  this is becoming a fun tradition.  i suggested that for the next bday 5 years away, she might want to celebrate it with me by surprising me with a trip to Fiji.

just a suggestion LOL

and then around my bday... I got an amazing donation to the well.

like the kind that makes your eyeballs pop when you do the double take.   it wasn't FOR my bday, but it sure did make that bday week something special.  I couldn't have asked for a better bday gift :)

I think this second well is definitely going to be sent this year - and I'm so excited for it!

I thank the Lord for all of your generosity.  You have made a huge difference in the lives of one entire community already and we are "well" on our way to doing the same for another community.

do you love it???  i do and i love you too
Le :)

a new ache? COME. ON!!!!!!!!!!!

why did i think that i would be getting FEWER aches and pains as I continued jog/walking.

by the way... i hate saying jog/walking.  isn't there a word for that?  i need to create one.

jalk?

yeah - i'll keep thinking about that one.  that sounds stupid.

how about wog?  "I'm going for a wog."  "How was your wog today?"  "Anybody wanna go for a wog with me?"

hahahaha i like it.  wogging for a well.  it still works :)

back to my train of thought... so i finally kinda found a way to decrease the pain from my heel.  it hasn't gone away completely - its more like.. at bay.

which is cool - cuz it keeps me faithful in my stretching.  when i don't stretch, i am painfully reminded of how necessary it is.

but now the OUSTIDE of my foot is hurting!?!?!  (i know. i know.  i'm running on the outside portion of foot.  I got it.)

but apparently walking on the outside of my foot didn't really aggravate anything.  stepping it up to jogging, with all of its jarring motion, has made me now aware that I even have an outside portion of my foot. LOL

isn't that funny?  you forget about certain muscles - until you overwork them.  You don't even realize you need certain body parts until they're out of commission!  you take your body for granted until its compromised.

speaking of which... saw Soul Surfer this week.  amazing movie.  nah... amazing girl.  the movie was cool - but her testimony spoke volumes.  craziest thing that I took away from the movie was - months before the shark attack - she and her mother had been praying that the Lord would use her in a mighty way.

Wow.

in case you haven't heard - this is the story of the surfer who lost her arm in a shark attack and came back to surfing with a vengeance!  amazing girl!!!!  in the movie, you assume she's 17 or something - but in the documentary - you realize she was 13 at the time of the attack.  when the shark took her arm, she didn't even scream.  its so much more than a movie about a shark attack.  i recommend it.

but this week as i get up from my chair, and it takes literally 10 seconds for my hips to feel normal... ( i swear i look crippled for the first few seconds!!)  i am just thinking...  in 10 seconds i will be able to move normally again.  what about people who will never be "normal" again?

Thank God for healthy bodies.

I know I've said that before - but I'll keep saying it.  I thank my God for my healthy body.  The healthy bodies of my children.  The healthy body of my husband.  Look around you.  be thankful for His blessings.

so... i have more aches and pains now that I've stepped up to wogging.  (like how i just threw that in there??)

There will always be new struggles with new experiences.  Just opportunities to gain perspective and appreciate who He is.

love it.  love you.

The Right Stuff

so is it a bad sign when you log into your blogger account and it says "Leah who?"

hehehe  just kiddin.  Blogger forgives me for my lack of social network time.  I'm sure you do too....   :)

Before the summer started, I remember asking our home school teacher for a bunch of books to keep us "busy" through the summer.  To which Miss Maria replied - Leah - its the summer - enjoy it!

oh no... we need to keep movin!  we need to read and study! maybe just a little... but at least something!

well i'm here to tell you - its 2 months later and not one school book has been cracked open.  and we are loving it!  Aren't you so glad that God CREATED rest!!!!  I know I am.  Sometimes we get into the mode of work work work.  sometimes for good reasons, sometimes not so much...  Work is a good thing - its ordained by God!  But so is rest :)

I'm not saying that my bloggies are work!  well - sometimes they can be.  but i do enjoy them!  Its just that lately - I've been on my walk/jogs - and I'll have something hit me on mile 0.56, and I'll be like - oh wow - that will be a great blog for today!  then mile 1.4 comes along and i'm like - hmmmm never thought about that one, Lord - that will be a better blog!    Mile 2.3 brings another set of lessons, and I'm thinking wow - as soon as I get back - boy - this will be one great blog!!!!

and then mile 3 is over, and i'm tired, and i get home, kick off my shoes and think - hmmm what did i want to say again???  how did it flow so smoothly in the moment, and then get lost in the space of 3 miles??

that's ok.

so... today's title.  "The Right Stuff".  for those of you around my age and older... remember that movie?  the astronauts?

Yeah... I just read a GREAT book about going to the moon.  (hehehe inside joke to some of you.)  and now i'm uh... *ahem* "onto" the sequel....  so I guess I have the moon on my mind.

But today - the "right stuff" isn't referring to traits that would make you a good astronaut.  I was on my walk with my 1 year old boyfriend, David, this morning - and trying out his brand new jogging stroller.  (i did try to jog but when i would pick up speed, the front tire would start to jiggle... anyone know why?
i was almost convinced that i was just jogging SO fast - that the stroller was pushed to its limit...
mm hmm.  i said ALMOST.)

anyway - jogging didn't work so well - but walking?  oh my goodness.  the ride was so smooth.  if you're not familiar with strollers - the regular ones come with 4 wheels and are pretty  much intended to just carry the baby, carry baby belongings, and just basically buggy everything around somewhat easily.  they can be cumbersome, and walking up the mountain... you can just feel how heavy everything is!!!

but jogging strollers are so streamlined.  they have 3 wheels - they turn much smoother and faster - and the wheels are more substantial. - almost like mountain bike wheels.

i felt like i could just keep on walking!  i could barely feel the extra weight!

(oh - plus - it has speakers.  for real.  so cool!  it has this little container in the front that you plug your iphone into and yes - it has 2 little speakers that amplify your music while you walk.)

now THAT'S the right stuff!

ever try to get through life with the wrong stuff?

i have.  name anything other than Christ - it just wasn't meant to fulfill us.  it just simply wasn't meant to be the stuff that we depend on, we rely on, or we need.  we're not designed for that junk.

The days when I find I'm relying on anything but Him are the days that I find I'm "pushing that heavy stroller up the mountain".

Today was such a sweet moment of clarity.  gliding up and down hills, feeling the distinction, amazed at what a difference having the "right stuff" makes.

I know my analogy kinda breaks down at some point... like all analogies do.

if it were a real example of what Christ does for us - I'd be David.. sitting back in the stroller with Christ pushing me up the mountain.

It's so good.  He's so good.  I wish everyone in the world could experience it.  I pray you do.

love you :)

Thanks for your support, but I am no longer walking for the well

because........


well, cuz i'm JOGGING for it now!!!

hehehehe did i get you all again?

oh you're sooooooooooo easy!   :)

I would NEVER want to give up!  How can I?  There are still people in need.

I've been reading K.P.'s new book "No Longer a Slumdog".  wow.  Read it when you get the chance.  its free! you can just request it from his website - for free, people.  no excuses :)  and remember - you can all ask for my copy when i'm done with it... its got his signature in it... woo hooooooo!

It just reminds me of the thirst everywhere.  I have been thinking about it a lot - thinking about the people everywhere who are hurting.  Not just the dalits in India - though that group of people are so desperate for true freedom!!!  But walk down the street, drive in a new section of town, get a hot dog outside of Albertson's and look into the face of a woman who looks like she hasn't eaten for days, but is scrounging for pennies to buy a hotdog for her hungry dog.  (don't worry - we got food for the dog and for her too.  and got a hug in return. :) God is good!)

Sharing love feels amazing, doesn't it?

We GET to be the ones who share.  We GET that privilege.  whew.  its intense when you think about it.

I have to share this with you... i thought it was extra cool.

About a week after the dinner, I got a card in the mail from Gospel for Asia.  I figured it was a little thank you for attending the dinner.  But it was so much more.  My new friend Heather(Hi Heather!!! hehe) from Gospel for Asia had written me a really sweet note.  She had read my blog and was following... IS following!  a few others from GFA are following along too!  that is just cool no matter which way you slice it.  Her card is so precious to me... that's something that i'm keeping for a while :) Then she put in a verse that lifted me :)  Her words were so encouraging, but when she wrote God's Words back to me - they just do what no other words can!!  thank you for your card Heather  :)  You all at GFA are amazing!

My hubby just had his birthday, and I'm about to have mine soon, and it has gotten me really thinking.  Time, life, death - what we do here with this life, you know?  Our time is so limited. We are studying Ecclesiastes in church and that's hammering it home too.  Last week was VBS, and wow - it's those little moments in life - not necessarily the entire seasons, that can make the biggest difference - that can have SUCH meaning!  VBS was just amazing.  No words to describe truly what God did that week.  He is beautiful.

We had our weekly morning prayer at our house today and it was soooo good.  Why is it that at 5:59 am every week, I dread leaving the comfort of my bed, and an hour later at 6:59 - I am clinging on to those precious last few moments of prayer with my fellow prayer warriors.  He is so worthy to be praised.

*i just paused to watch a hummingbird out my back window.   moments...*

So - did I tell you why I'm jogging now?

I hate jogging.  I really do - I am not one of those people that feels the runner's high (or jogger's high??).  Never got that far.  I feel the pain with every step.  My knee is not bad - but it sure isn't good.  My heel spur doesn't hurt like it did - but its not like jogging on clouds either!  LOL  and I just don't like feeling my lungs burn.  i just don't like it!!!!!

who likes pain??

well i read a book - given to me by Michael - (thanks Michael) that talks about pushing your body to the limit.  yeah yeah blah blah blah.  no thank you.

well the book sucked me in and talked about this guy Dean Karnazes who is just absolutely amazing.  Just - i mean - amazing.  The human body should just give out before accomplishments like that can happen.  and i thought - i'm such a WIMPPPPP!

so... i felt challenged.  and encouraged.  and now i can't say i'm a jogger.  but i'm jogging  :)
i can't wait to see where I'm at on December 1st.  i will not be shaming myself anytime soon telling you how little i can jog right now. but it would be cool to see that i could at least jog the whole 3 miles by the end of my well walk :)

oh by the way... yes i do know that i haven't put any pictures up.  i just have the two for you here.  I keep forgetting to ask my dad and sister for the ones they took at the party!  sorry!!!!

well, i've been on a big high these past few days... and of course most of you know why - but of course, you know i won't mention it here.  :)  I'm loving where God has me!  Excited - and yet - waiting...  i love it.  I love surprises! and He just keeps surprising me!!!  I ask for one thing, and He gives me two!  just because He loves me.  Lately, i just feel really..... GOOD  - know what i mean???  But I know that we can always count on suffering to creep into our day... so I'm just trying to find that balance - trying to stay on my toes - trying to be ready for the attack that is always waiting just around the corner... but still enjoying the peace and joy He's giving me - and can KEEP giving me through the suffering too!!!

But I try not to be afraid of suffering.  I'll just remind you that suffering produces perseverance, perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.  (That's Romans, in case ya didn't know!  hehe)

Keep praying for me please - I've been back on my treadmill alot, and its just not as fun as walking with people.  My sister and I went for a killer walk on Sunday, but it didn't feel super killer because we were keeping each other company, walking and talking!  we had such a great time.  My momma wanted to go in the worst way but she hurt her knee really badly - so we have to wait for her to heal!  :(

ok - this is a long bloggie.  I have to tell you - I will eventually post the picture of K.P. Yohannan with  me, my sis, and Matt... BUT!!! i can't do it yet!  I'll have to do it at the end of my journey - when we take one final picture at the 1000 party - but with all of us facing FORWARD :)  (i couldn't ask K.P. to turn around for the picture - he would think i was a psychopath!!!)

i love and adore you all.  you know that right?   :)

"Therefore, my beloved brethren, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that your labor is NOT in vain!"  1 Cor 15:58  (emphasis, mine and Heather's hehe)

Joyful meeeeeee

Michael tried to get away, but ha ha ha - we got the picture before he hid behind the statue!!!  :)  We are all holding up 5's 4's, or 3's for the 543 party LOL..  Actually... Dave on the left is holding up 6 halves.  (cuz he is silly like that LOL)  

My children push ME now.  oh my goodness this hike was awfulllllllll!!! but in a good way... you know like in a WOW!! I DID THAT!!! AND I NEVER WANT TO DO IT AGAIN- kind of way LOL   It was hard, and and they still wanted to keep going!  the nutjobs!!!  i love that they're little walkers now :)

Halfway there...

The dinner with K.P Yohannan was so awesome!  I got a picture with him and had him sign his new book - so cool!  I admit - I was a little star-struck!! hahaha My sister kept laughing at me :)

He was so genuine!  After the dinner, I went to go get the picture and book, and when he turned to me, I didn't feel like I was bothering him at all.  It seemed like he sincerely wanted to hear what I had to say and would have talked with me for as long as I wanted.

and i can talk....

LOL  but - there were a lot of people there, and I didn't want them to feel like I was monopolizing him.. which I surely would have done!  so - i quickly got my picture, got his autograph ( LOL)  and moved on out...

oh well, maybe next time! :)  the book that he just finished is called No Longer A Slumdog.  I greedily want to keep it since I had it signed by him - but I know better!!!  so whoever would like it when I'm finished... its yours, as long as you pass it on to the next person :)

I was feeling a little bit "down" the night of the dinner.  Before I went, I was hmmm a little bit worn out from lots of running around the past few days - plus thinking about the prep for the 543 party the next day, and I had really just lost sight of what was important, and I gave into self-pity and doubt.

God used K.P. to remind me, once again, what it's really all about.  It's funny that I'm halfway through this journey, and I've gotten sidetracked along the way.  I would think that I would be more focused as time went on - but nope, I've gotten distracted.  The party was great - but it's not about the party - it's not about feeling supported -it's about spreading the Gospel for Christ - and K.P. reminded... we have the privilege of doing that.  Amen!

Once again, I'm seeing that God is ever so patient with me.

It was a great reminder, and it came at just the right time.  Halfway through, and I feel refreshed, and ready to keep on walkin :)

i do want to write about the party and show pictures, and tell you about the hike of death my kids took me on today.... but i'll do that tomorrow  (i know! i know!  2 bloggies in one week?  i'll spoil you. lol  don't get used to it.  but look for pics tomorrow :)

Brother K.P. - thanks for being God's instrument in the lives of millions of people!

love you all!